Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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