Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
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