Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Bring me that man meat
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
