listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Randomize