Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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