soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Randomize