Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
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