tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
