Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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