we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
