the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
