So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
my poor anus
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Randomize