Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
