we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
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