wakey wakey hands off snakey
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
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