last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Randomize
