I'm really into asian looking animals
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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