I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
