dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
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