so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Michael Bay diarrhea
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
