3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
my vag is so smooth its legendary
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
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