the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
my vag is so smooth its legendary
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I wish they made helmets for livers.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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