i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Randomize
