time to smoke my breakfast
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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