You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize
