Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
