I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Randomize
