and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
