I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
