Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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