Barsexuality is the new black.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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