We're facebook friends in real life
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
