She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
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