We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
