I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Randomize
