he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
