I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
