I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
So many bounce houses so little time
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Randomize
