I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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