i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
