Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
