i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Randomize
