im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
