If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
