did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
