Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
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