Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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