Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Randomize
