you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Did we literally take a cab across the street
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
