He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
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