My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
