dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Randomize
