Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
