omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Randomize
