and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
