hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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