I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
