Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
