I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
