I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
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