all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Randomize