Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Randomize
