its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
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