why didn't you poke me back
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
