some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
