Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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